Critical Role Inspired Drinks
If I remember right, a few of us threw out ideas for this. I cannot take all the credit for these glorious libations. You get to decide what are in a few. That's the fun. Cheers.
Inside a rough-hewn oak beamed tavern, lantern glow illuminates low wooden tables, chairs and benches draped in furs and a variety of hearty snacks on a well laden sideboard. Tabards emblazoned with bears and ravens, flank a large river stone hearth, glowing with a low banked fire, crackling softly. Antlers and a vast assortment of hunting trophies deck the walls and top round mullioned windows. A bar of dark, polished mirkwood curves toward an archway leading to the kitchens, and a sturdy carved stairway, opposite, leads up to bedchambers. You also see a slate menu:
Flaming Bowstring - Fireball and Honey whiskey…smooooth. Don’t forget that hunter’s mark!
Hunters Mark - Add an extra shot of whiskey to your drink for that extra damage… I mean fun! This is fun!
3. Ranger Danger - One sip will send you flying. Juniper and floral Gin, Orange Blossom Honey liqueur, green chartreuse and distilled violet water. The flavors of the wild forests of Tal D’Orei, with all its beauty and danger.
4. The Cannonball - One huge drink! Strong, burly, a bit musky, but sweet. Liquid courage to be sure! A Tal D’Orei iced tea, topped with root beer and Honey Baranjager.
5. Grasping Vine whiskey - A favorite of Druids, Elves especially. Aged in absinthe casks, for a wee touch of the green fairy.
6. The Aramente - Chilled (magically, of course), straight up, in an ornate Elven glass. This drink is beautiful, but deadly strong and smells of flowers, rosemary and a wisp of ozone. Ashari single malt, simple syrup, lime juice, rosemary, blackberries, lemon twist and a wisp of magic….
7. Ravens Champion - Only two fingers, but this drink is dark, murky, and packs quite a blow. Caution: this can be deadly to the….. UnPrepared.
8. Rogue’s Heart - It’s a double, natch. And it’ll steal yours… Bushmills whiskey, hot water, honey, lemon. (Humans from Jersey call this a Hot Bush)
9. Dagger Dagger Daiquiri - Lime juice, a little ginger, and strong, stinging, DaggerBay rum. (by NovaPrimate)
10. The Jenga - This drink’s got a real bite you weren’t expecting. You may need friends to help finish it. Maybe you should’ve ordered a Saving Throw…… Briarwood whiskey, apple schnapps, dark red cherry cider……’night night.
11. Strongjaw Ale - Aged 6 months in a bag of holding … like it wouldn’t be on this menu?
12. Bearded Glory - A frothy, put hair on your….wherever….halfsies combination of Good ale, and scotch. It takes massive hit points to drink more than 2 of these.
13. The Mathis - Refined, a drink for the smart set….made of 9 ingredients. 9.
(a Shirley Temple)
14. Craven Edge - Dark, biting, and blood red….only 1 per adventurer. Warning: guaranteed to spike blood lust, and give one searing fire plane of a hang over. Fireball, ruby port and brandy. (We warned you)
15. Encourage Violence - A shot of GladePools ever-clear and a ShadeBarrow beer.
16. Dirty Limerick - Scanlan’s specialty. It’s a gimlet, but here you go….. There once was a bard of small stature - his junk, though was another matter! He cast a spell, Kima said “ what the hell?” Are you the Vox Machina scatter!?
Have you heard of Scanlan the Bard?
Or, Burt Reynolds, if you look at his card.
Always tries to get laid
Sud spice is his trade
But I respect him, because rhyming is hard.
17. Brunch Punch - Strangely, this delightful, fizzy, pink cocktail contains a hint of…..chicken?….Said to improve one’s aim. Pink champagne, honey schlager, and a dash of lemon. Served with a twist of fried chicken skin on a tiny arrow tooth pick.
18. Improved Disposition - A Gunslinger’s drink of choice. Five small shots of Whitestone family reserve specialties, topped with a float of Bulleit Rye, makes up one merciless combination. Remorse and guilt, optional. Enjoy.
19. Chateau DeRolo, Whitestone Reserve - A truly elegant blend with notes of pear, juicy rounded berries, leather, and buttery rich with velvet tannins and a terroir of the rare white stone this area is famous for, of course.
20. Delilah’s Demise - The blackest ruby port, swirled with Briarwood brandy. An exquisitely satisfying and elegant drink. (cruise guests call this a Stabilizer. Bon voyage)
21. Family Crest - The abundance of Whitestone in a glass. Fresh pear cider, sparkling and sweet, Whitestone cognac and blueberry cordial, topped with a swirl of green chartreuse and a lemon twist.
22. Bad News - Truly dire. The dreaded Bar mat shot - Hey, you asked for it…..
23. The Reynolds - This is a manly drink,(no matter what they say) favored by attorneys at short. Spiced Gnomish Rum, and Butter Ripple Schnapps….
*WARNING- This shot is Magically Enhanced. When consumed, triggers a harmless cantrip that will leave the victim with a rougish moustache for one hour. Pro-tip: Order this by simply putting your finger under your nose at the bar maid.
24. Gilmore’s Goods - It’s Glorious….This enormous and ornate concoction combines the very best magical ingredients in an ostentatious, but enticing brew. Serves 8, but can be indulged,…..by two….if you’ve the inclination…..
(mundane’s call this a Hurricane..it certainly makes you… lose an afternoon)
25. Pike’s Prudence - A delightful deceiver. Good for fending off over-eager suitors, this quaff keeps an adventurer clear headed. Any Non- alcoholic drink of your choice, Magically Enhanced, to appear as any strong drink on our menu. (in case that door doesn’t lock……).
26. Healing Words - A favorite of Clerics and Halfings alike. Sparkling Tal ‘Dorei wine, St. Germaine, and a swirl of Oraneg Aperol, orange twist.
27. Cleric’s Kiss - A suprise of ingredients, to be sure, but a sweet, lingering finish…..this drink leaves quiet an impression. Especially your first. A shot of Vasselheim bourbon, and A fresh Strawberry, hollowed and filled with Amaretto and topped with fresh whipped cream.
SHOTS!
28. HDYWTDT- Victory is won by the courageous…..We’ll let you decide what you think is in this, and if you really wanna go there.
29. Saving Throw - That’s right….roll a D20 for the drink menu item you’ll you’ll get. So….are you feelin lucky?…..
30. Natural 20 - The Golden Snitch of drinks. This glass of Whitestone cuvee champagne can be magically imbued to cast tiny druidic sky writing fireworks above your table, if you wish.
31. You Can Certainly Try - Roll a D20 to see what cocktail you’ll be served from the menu. So…. Do you feel lucky?
32. MITTENS - Stop smiting yourself, stop smiting yourself….No seriously, this one-shot will visit glorious hurt on you. Your gods can’t help you now. You don’t want this cute little shot….or do you?
33. Vesh’s Curse - Kisses can leave scars…and so can this shot. *Only 2 per adventurer, unless specified by management. Fireball and Jagermeister.
34. Crit Role - A natural one….the Wheaton of dice rolls, and of drinks. Chilled, Unfiltered sake…… *but you have to Snort it. Thank Grog for this diabolical treat, and thank the barkeep for this only being a shot.
35. CinderGrove spiced mead - Warm and alluring…Smooth, yet rich with spice. This elegant brew swirls with the colors of a firey sunset. Made to honor and celebrate the Aramente. Imbued with a kiss of Druidic magic….it may add a bit of fortitude to your evening.
36. Fatty Arbuckle - A sweet shot that’s rumored to enhance your dancing skills, but a few of these and you’ll pass out dead.. Cold! I meant cold… 151, 3 kinds of DaggerBay rum, lime, pineapple, papaya, and simple syrup. Now, I wouldn’t call this a Zombie, per se, Just a nice little drink that might kill you a little bit…everything’s fine….
37. Feel The Gern - Fireball Whiskey, Death’s Head Rum, and Rumchata … Strange, magically enhanced, and effective! It burns a bit, yet leaves you with a smile….
38. The Walk Away - Rogues, man….You can never quite finish this one….. Elven whiskey, Sweet wine, spiced Mead, muddled emotions, and stealth.
39. Critter Love - Scanlan said it best. Now drink to his health with this merry libation!
And to yours as well.
Absolut Mandarin, peach liquer, orange, pineapple, cranberry, creme de cassis. An orange slice…..smile! (Critter Love on the beach, Because Scanlan) "Friends! I don't mean to sound bitter. But a year ago, life was a sh**ter. 'Till I picked up some dice with some friends it was nice. And now, ah, I'm a critter"
40. Tail Smack - A specialty of Tiefling affection. Courvossier, Grand Manier, simple syrup, a dash of lemon and orange juice, chilled, served with a sugar rim. (a sidecar, to most humans)
41. Kima’s Courage - Cold, clear, and deadly strong…but delicious all the same.
42. Black Powder - Viktor’s favorite! Espresso, Guinness, whiskey and Baileys’s
43. Clarota’s Helmet - This one’s a true ….mind eraser… Crustal Skull Vodka, Kahlua, Club soda, over ice, suck it down ferociously with a straw, as if you’ve betrayed your parties trust and must devour their braiiinnnzzz…
44. Crit Hangover - DnD hangovers are *Real, people. Coffee….Viktor’s Raven Queen’s Blend blackest coffee to get you through, served iced or hot, fortified with sweetener and a shot of your choosing.
Served with donuts, on a tiny broom….
45. The Kraghammer - A Dwarvish Cart Bomb…extra large. Guinness, Dwarvish whiskey, and Bailey’s….. bottoms up! Wait.. did you hear something?
46. The Trinket - Absolute Citron, peach liquer, peach puree, fresh orange juice. (because fuzzy) Served with a bow around the stem.
47. Vegetables of Da Virgins - A drink is earned! Imbued with extra powers, this is the mother of all Bloody Marys.
48. Is It Thirsty Yet? - Anticipation is painful …. this lessens the sting…The best damned margarita you’ve ever had, rimmed with salt from the Ozmit Sea.
49. Your Fun is Wrong - A martini…stirred, not shaken, as clean or dirty as you like it. Ice cold Syngorn vodka, SilverCut vermouth and you can say when, on how many Visa Isle olives you’d like.
50. A Door - Simple but quite possibly devastating to your party. This is just a beer. A beer in a puzzle mug. Sip from the right spot, and cover the correct holes, or it goes everywhere. ::sad trombone:: Definitely check for traps.